Flowers Tumblr Themes

I only care about hot cops and mac n cheese

deathpup:

first rule of fight club

  1. no fightin!…shakira shakiraaa
ruinedchildhood:

When I lose my mom at Walmart

ruinedchildhood:

When I lose my mom at Walmart

j5h:

me: aw yeah give it to me raw baby
guy: are u sure?
me: fuck yeah give it to me RAW
guy: i don’t want you to wake up with salmonella poisoning
me:
me:
me: okay give me the steak medium-well then
guy: alright have a nice night sir, enjoy your dinner

bakerstreetsdoctor:

fefaklainer:

luhleti:

overprotective parents raise the best liars.

but seriously, i mean i don´t even do bad things and i have to lie a lot

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do you have any idea what time it is young lady

do you have any idea what time it is young lady

analsage:

aperture-of-consciousness:

bratbum:

Daddy and I had so much fun today!!!! He got me the cutest training potty ever it sings a song when I flush it!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is why I kink shame

this is honestly like the funniest shit ever 

analsage:

aperture-of-consciousness:

bratbum:

Daddy and I had so much fun today!!!! He got me the cutest training potty ever it sings a song when I flush it!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is why I kink shame

this is honestly like the funniest shit ever 

nintendonut1:

mahou-mofo:

"Please stop selling shirts carelessly" wtf are they supposed to interview the people buying them like what does this dude want

#POSERSHAMING get the fuck out of here with that mess

burdenedwithgloriousassbutt:

takanobaka:

Why say “ding dong you are wrong” when you could say “eggs and bacon you’re mistaken”

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people at my school: whats your tumblr url
me: whats tumblr
people at school: its a website where people follow you, i actually have a lot of followers haha
me: really how many
people at school: 60 haha
me:
people at school:
me:
people at school:
me: wow thatS A LOt
  • being late
  • things i said five minutes ago
  • things i said five years ago
  • people touching me
  • being around a ton of people
  • being yelled at
  • wondering if people are talking about me
  • every action i do
  • and just about everything else